As it has been for the past 3 years, I constantly find myself drifting back to that glorious day four years ago at various times of the day remembering what I was doing at just that time. I always remember the anticipation of becoming a mother, the fear of the unknown, and in the end the sheer delight of greeting and holding my new son. I remember at 9:07 PM exactly the moment I heard the first cries of my baby as he entered the world, the smile and joy on my husbands face, the excitement of the doctors and nurses as they announced his arrival, his size and how much hair he had. I remember a few more details that I will spare you, but for the most part... I remember only joy and happiness and above all else, this new level of unmeasurable LOVE.
And that love has only blossomed and grown beyond my wildest expectations. Honestly, it does surprise me how much one can love someone else so much that it does actually hurt. I do know now that my heart is no longer my own and belongs to another, as do my thoughts and decisions I make through life. I adore and love my husband to ends of infinity, but the love for your offspring is definitely primal. And four years ago I learned all this in less time than it takes to sing a chorus of "Happy Birthday To You".
In the past year, our boy has continued his growth spurt. He almost completely skipped the 4T clothing and went straight into 5T. He is tall and all legs. And speaking of legs, those two limbs carry our boy far and wide now. He rides his bike, his scooter and he runs from one end of our street court to the other keeping up with all the kids. His personality is taking shape and it pleases us that for the most part he has a very sweet and compassionate disposition. Still he is by no means a Saint all the time. He has developed a temper that is quick to ignite, but only on a rare occasion when he truly feels wronged or worse... overly tired. He still naps. Up to 2 hours each day. People tell me I am lucky and I feel it when it allows me to get work done in peacefully quite house. AJ goes to preschool 3 days a week and loves his teachers and friends. His mind is constantly working and it often amazes us and usually makes us laugh. The things this boy can come up with and talk about are plain hysterical or truly deep. I once read that a 4 year old will ask approximately 450 questions in a single day. That's NOT TRUE. It's more like 850~. Yesterday just for fun, I counted how how many questions he asked me between the stop lights down the street from our house. 28 questions in the span of two and half minutes and a mile and half. Most were "mommy, guess what?" or "mommy, know what I wish?" or "know what, mommy?" followed about stories of a boy who picks his nose in class all the time or curious facts about his Lego's at home. The questions are constant. He can dress himself now and is very opinionated about what he wears. Mostly the shirts are his choice and he leaves the pants to me. But there have been days when after he is ready and changed, he will tell me, "know what mommy?," (question) "I think I want to wear my soft cozy pants today and not these jeans. OK?" (another question... see what I mean). He prefers to brush is own teeth, but will let us do a thorough rebrush at the end. We read every night. He picks a book, we pick a book and then cuddle into his bed with Lovey Bear and usually read about Lego City life. And when AJ turned 4 years old, his goldfish Chili Pepper or otherwise known as Chi Chi, turned 2 years old. Yeah, we still have that goldfish he got for his second birthday. Amazing as I thought these type of fishes were short term. AJ feeds his aquatic friend in the mornings learning to take care of Chi Chi. He also has requested, all on his own, if he can collect and take out the trash. He helps his daddy so he can learn to do the chore all on his own. He also loves to vacuum (hooray!). He will take over for me and vacuum his playroom. I think he does this though, because he has secret stashes of Lego's hidden on the ground under furniture and this ensures they don't get vacuumed up when I roll through. And he LOVES to dance! Boy has got mad skills on the dance floor with his self taught moves. Everyday is something new just as it is suppose to be. He enchants us and infuriates us, he makes us laugh and at times has made us cry. He makes us "be".
It is scary how fast he his growing and there is not a moment, great and perfect or difficult and trying, that we do not absolutely cherish. I am reminded that these times are fleeting and even with the difficult moments, there will come a day when we give anything to go back and relive this time in our lives. I already wish I could go back four years ago and whisper to myself as I lied in that hospital bed... "hold him just a bit tighter, memorize those little squeaks and coo's and that heady baby smell. Don't sweat the small stuff, just hug and kiss him even more than you already want to and do." I yearn to hold my little baby AJ cradled head to toe in my arms swaddled in a blanket with his warmth relaxing me and putting me in that cozy mommy/baby zone. I still get my cuddles in nightly and on most mornings when he crawls into bed beside me and I wrap my arms around him and pull the blankets over us. He still has a heady smell that I breathe in. But before I have had enough, he is bounding out of bed asking me to get him breakfast and put on his morning cartoon. AJ starts t-ball later this month. Another milestone that signals a growing and always changing little boy. I am excited but nostalgic at the same time. So here's to another year in the Life of AJ. Happy Birthday my sweet boy. Mother Nature gave you a gorgeous present this afternoon after the rain stopped and the skies were giving way to the pink hues of dusk. She just wanted to say "Happy Birthday AJ" one more time and she did so in a brilliant show of colors.
Birthday photo's from the bathtub...
*birthday party photo's will come shortly... I promise
